By Tope Olotu
Picture this. Imagine yourself doing a job where you are not well-appreciated. You’ve just graduated from university—degree fresh and hot off the press, energy high, enthusiasm overflowing. Confidence is still loading, but energy on 100%. You’re eager, teachable, curious, and ready to learn. You don’t have years of experience yet, but you show up every single day determined to do your best.
Or… you’ve just immigrated to a new country. Your accent is strong. You are ready to work. You’re carrying years of experience and a workplace culture that taught you to be direct, fast, and thorough. You’re willing, ready, and capable—but somehow, you’re labeled “too intense,” “too direct,” or “not quite the right fit.” This is the first job you’ve landed after months of applications, rejections, silence, and self-doubt. So you tell yourself, just hold on… just learn… just survive.
But then comes the work environment? Not great.
The boss? Even worse.
This particular boss has a way of putting people down and undervaluing effort. Feedback was sharp, came with raised voices, and was never affirming. Mistakes are magnified. Praise is rare. Appreciation feels like a luxury, not a norm. And yet, you stay. You work hard. You learn fast. You carry responsibilities that clearly belong to two—sometimes three—people, quietly keeping things together while pretending everything is fine. You fix processes no one asked you to fix. You bring professionalism into chaos. You bring excellence into noise.
Some days, it’s not fine at all; the weight gets really heavy.
There are moments when the bathroom becomes your safe space. You lock the door, stare at yourself in the mirror, take a deep breath, and try not to cry. Sometimes you fail. Sometimes tears win. And one day, you walk in and meet another colleague doing the same thing. Same red eyes. Same forced smile. Same silent understanding. No words needed. You both already know. The culture is heavy. The environment is draining. But something in you refuses to quit. Even when loved ones suggest you should.
And then someone asks, “Why not report it to HR?” Well… there is no HR. The boss is the HR.
This is the lived reality of many fresh graduates and new immigrants as they try to find their footing. They tell you, “You need experience.” But no one really explains how you’re supposed to get experience if no one gives you the opportunity to work. So you endure. You observe. Sometimes you cry. You adapt. You grow.
“To the colleagues, mentors, coaches, friends, and allies who make room for young graduates and new immigrants—to those who explain things patiently, show them the ropes, and offer a soft landing—I see you, and I thank you. I thank mine.”
Instead of shrinking, you expand. You become a better person even through the tears.
You become really good at the job. Not because anyone is clapping—but because excellence becomes your language. You study. You write certification exams. You read books that expand your mind. You watched YouTube channels to learn new stuff. You listened to podcasts that improve you. You go back to school. You earn more degrees. You sharpen your skills. You are no longer the lady/man without post-university experience. You are no longer an immigrant without the almighty Canadian/US/UK/Australian experience. You become calm under pressure. Professional. Reliable. Trusted. You improve systems. You raise standards. You mature. You now even have a few friends. You are becoming.
Colleagues notice. Customers notice. Clients give glowing feedback.
Everyone sees it… except your employer.
You already know the kudos aren’t coming.
So,
- You anchor yourself in purpose.
- You stop performing for applause and start living intentionally.
- You keep your standards high even when recognition is low.
- You let excellence become your quiet signature.
- You surround yourself with friends and allies who help you learn and grow
And because God is a rewarder—not a forgetter—the next door opens.
That difficult environment becomes the training ground. That painful season becomes the catapult. You move on. You move up. And you realize the journey is only just beginning.
When you stop chasing approval and start walking in purpose, confidence grows naturally. You move differently—calm, sure, and grounded.
To every employer who gives fresh graduates and new immigrants the opportunity to try, to learn, and to grow—thank you. That open door can change the entire trajectory of a life.
And to every fresh graduate and new immigrant navigating the workplace with lessons learned and tears cried—I see you. I have been privileged to hear several stories from my mentees, and I am sending you all love and hugs. All I can say is when it is mentally safe for you, keep going. Keep learning. Keep growing. Even when no kudos come for your seemingly good efforts. When you make mistakes or mess up at work, or you fall below expectations, which may happen (or should I say which will occur)—accept it, learn from it, and move on quickly. Just try not to make the same mistake twice. And seek mentorship and coaching when you need it. Asking for help is not a weakness; it’s a strength, it’s wisdom.
To the colleagues, mentors, coaches, and allies who make room for young graduates and new immigrants—to those who explain things patiently, show them the ropes, and offer a soft landing—I see you, and I thank you. I thank mine. Every friend, colleague, mentor, and coach who said, “Do it this way,”who accepted my lunch, coffee, or tea invite so I could quietly steal their brain, or who simply stopped by to say hello. You made the burden lighter. You made growth possible. If you have read up to this point, tag someone who has made the workplace better for you when you were still learning the ropes – or even now. See some of mine in the comments.
To all my allies, coaches, mentors, and work friends, I’m happy to tell you this—I’m paying it forward. Through the community organizations that I volunteer with, Aspirehub.org and Tiraka.org, I’ve been privileged to mentor and coach many young students and new immigrants. Let’s keep being the light. Someone is watching. Someone is learning. Someone is becoming.
Now, speaking of applause and appreciation at work, don’t get me wrong—applause feels good. It really does. It is great. It is needed. We should have the confidence and self-esteem to receive praise without imposter syndrome stealing the moment (conversation for another day). And for employers, creating a culture of appreciation matters—through words, opportunities, compensation, and recognition in all its forms. Huge thanks to all the employers doing that. I’m grateful to work in environments where good work is seen and rewarded.
To all fresh graduates and new immigrants in that season right now, where you are showing up, doing your best, unseen—hear me clearly: keep going. Growth is happening even when applause is silent.
Now let’s pause for TEA.
TEA with Tope
- Thought: Approval is temporary. Purpose lasts. Keep going—even when no one says kudos.
- Encouragement: Live for purpose, not applause. Growth is happening, even in silence.
- Affirmation: “I don’t need everyone’s approval to shine.”
More about “TEAwithTope” at topeolotu.com/tea
“When you stop chasing approval and start walking in purpose, confidence grows naturally. You move differently—calm, sure, and grounded.”
About Me
I am a certified project management professional, a community advocate, and a compassionate nutritionist.
I share thoughts, encouragement, and affirmations through my TeaWithTope posts. I also created Teal Nutrition, offering culturally relevant nutrition education and resources for agile living. Through ITOSugar, I share diabetes education content that speaks your language.
I am very active in my community, collaborating with others to educate and empower children, youth, young adults, women, and families through the non-profit initiatives I co-founded, including a youth club, Aspire Hub, and Tiraka, with branches in the United States, Canada, the UK, and Nigeria.
About TEAwithTope: Thoughts.
Encouragements.
Affirmations.
I share bite-sized reflections, personal thoughts, encouraging words, and affirmations rooted in truth through #TEAwithTope, where I invite you to pause and breathe, just like you would over a calming cup of tea. You may also want to explore and shop my favorite tea blends.
